I NEED A CHANGE 29 - HARSH TRUTHS THAT MAKES US BETTER PEOPLE (EDITION 1)

Hello great and remarkable people!

MOTIVATIONAL MOMENT - You are a gifted and wonderfu creation. There is nothing about you that isn't great and magnificent. You are the epiome of greatness and all that potential energy in you is awaiting to synthesize with your action to produce the kenetic culture we call life and living. So, stop living life from the perspective of who you are not but instead...let's work within the parameters of who you are and LIVE THE LIFE that will better you as an individual.

"DO WHAT?" So many people ask that question when they have been given an instruction of something that they don't agree with on a moral, philosophical, or cultural reasoning, however, you do things that are against those grains DAILY, the difference is that people can see you (or at least the person who asked you to do it can) and because we have been taught the art of lying by saying if nobody sees me do it, it is akin to not having done it. We let our guards down when nobody is around but when someone is around we feel as if we have a reputation to keep and an image to uphold, however, when we have a tainted image, why would we want to uphold that image?

'Cause nobody saw me do those things so my image isn't bad at all...I have an impeccable image in the community, upstanding and wonderful.'

Boo boo...let me be the one to tell you that just because nobody saw it, doesn't mean that somebody didn't tell it and your image is not only negative, it is going to get you nowhere no matter whose organization you join with, no matter who you become friends with,and no matter whose board you are allowed to sit on...YOUR IMAGE IS TARNISHED!

So why are you saying "DO WHAT?" as if it's such a bad thing...you don't even know what I want you to do yet! So, let's figure it out together shall we 'cause honestly, I don't even know at this point.

JUST A SIDE NOTE: If your career is great and you're thrilled about your wonderful life and your relationships are just awesome. Please enjoy the rest of your day and stop reading through this rubbish. You are doing a great job on your own and I'm so proud of you, as a matter of fact, everyone who reads this article will be proud of you as well. So please, don't waste your time by sitting here for it will be totally mind numbing for you anwill make you wish you shot yourself in the head with an automatic weapon. If however you don't fit within that special group of people...THIS IS FOR YOU!

EXERCISE #1
Name seven (7) impressive things about yourself! You can write them down (I like to write so I write) or just say them aloud or hey even better just walk up to a complete stranger and tell them those seven impressive things about yourself. Now, here is the greatness about this, you CANNOT say anything that you are! You must name seven impressive things that you do! Yes, what do you do? Not "who you are" but "what you do." Go ahead, I'll wait...

How hard did you find that to do? Was it really that difficult? Why do you think that was so difficult? For some of you that was easy wasn't it? For those of us where this was easy, we found it easy because we learned a principle years ago or maybe a few hours ago that helped us to accept that we are powerful and that we can definitely do what it takes to get the job done but more importantly that what we know how to do is important! For those of us who found this absurd and hard, we are still taking the time to learn that self-same process and guess what it is okay. We are where others have been in life and we are further along in life and bettering ourselves than half the United States...either way we are in good company and we must give ourselves a hand for that.

EXERCIS #2
Give yourself a standing ovation for 2 minutes and be serious! Cheer, root, clap, run around in circles, do whatever you do when you really like somebody for what they do. Yes, you may even cry, snot, and pass out. Whatever you feel like you must do and what you do for other people, DO IT FOR YOURSELF for two minutes (AT LEAST) everyday...ok, go ahead, I'll be here when you get back.

So now, what you're going to hate to hear...you knew it was coming I don't know why you thought it wasn't! The title of this is HARSH TRUTHS THAT MAKES US BETTER PEOPLE...so here is Harsh Truth #1, I hope you're ready and when I say it, I'm sure you'll be able to identify with it...here you go...relgious people and the like...I hope you're ready for it 'cause it is HARSH and downright NOT RIGHT AND NOT COOL! Ok, so here it is...

THE WORLD AND THE PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD ONLY CARES ABOUT YOU WHEN THEY CAN GET SOMETHING FROM YOU
Yes I know the earth is the L-rds and the fullness thereof and they that dwell therein, however, stop doing something for someone or a group of people and see how quickly they dispense of you! I know people who have had jobs where when they couldn't make it to church because they were going to work, the church issued them a letter of release (and yes they were sending in tithes and offerings). Understand that your money isn't always good enough, instead, your presence means so much more in differing settings for differing reasons to different people!

Ok, so who do you love the most? Think about it, the one person that you just LOVE LOVE LOVE! Get them fixated into your mind! See their face. See you doing stuff with them. Remember some of those crazy fun times you had together! Now, you're having those fun times and all of a sudden they fall on the ground...they just got shot! They are lying down in the middle of the street bleeding and screaming and someone rushes up and says "Step aside," and then he looks over the bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife...yes, he's gonna operate and remove the bullet right there in the middle of the street.

My first response kicks in to ask, "hey, are you a doctor or surgeon or indian spiritual healer?" and his reply to me is "No, I just saw this on House last night...," so of course I'm like, "don't you think we should call someone who knows what they are doing before you injure my love even worse" and he's so annoyed and he turns and looks at you and yells at you, "Hey, I'm a nice freaking guy, I'm honest, I'm always on time, I wash my hands four and five times a day, I'm a great son, and I'm a very well rounded individual and I never use foul language."

So...HOW DOES ANY OF THAT HELP YOUR LOVE LYING ON THE GROUND BLEEDING AND PROBABLY NOW UNCONSIOUS? "The truth is before I allow you to stick a knife into someone I love I need to know that you know what you're doing is the point. Can you do that?" Now you've gone and done it, you keep questioning this man when he's trying to save your loved one. You are being shallow and selfish! Did you not hear about all of his other amazing qualities that he told you?

In light of all the other amazing things that he does and all that he is...does it truly matter if he knows how to perform surgery? YES, IT MATTERS A GREAT DEAL. One slip of a knife and your loved one could be the next funeral you attend. So here is the TERRIBLE AWFUL of this situation: YOU ARE IN THAT VERY SITUATION EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE! The only difference is you're the person with the pocket knife and all of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.

You try to tell people how beautiful you are, or how lovely you are, or how wonderful you are and society constantly shuns you and you often wonder why you get no respect from society. The answer is simple. It is because society is in full need of things and what you are offering (good looks, pretty face, good hair, cute shoes, big booty, big other things, etc...) is not answering th key things necessary to survival. Society needs food, entertainment, homes, fulfilling sexual relationships and non-sexual friendships. They are needy and you show up at the scene of the emergency wielding a pocket knife with no set skills in order to know how to properly utilize a pocket knife.

By virtue of your birth, you were born into a system designed to meet the needs of people. So, you're going to either learn how to use that pocket knife (whatever it may be) to seeing to the needs of the people by acquiring unique skills and abilities OR the world will continue to reject you no matter how nice of a person you are. You will be poor, you will be alone, and you will be left out in the cold! No if's, and's, or but's!

Does that seem mean or cold? THere is love and kindness and yes they matter...as long as it results in you DOING things for people that they are not getting anywhere else...if there is an offer for it elsewhere, you're going to have to do it better and leave a remarkable impression upon the people you serve.

The hospitality industry is not huge business because of simplicity of function, it's huge because people like to be catered to...even when they are poor!

Here's to freedom from fear and acceptance of your better self...

Your Friend...The "Inner Healing" Lifestyle Coach
Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD

MY WEBSITES
Dr. T
Strong Tower HATLG
Holy Assemblies of the True and Living G-d

MY SOCIAL NETWORKS
Twitter
Facebook

Contact Dr. T  for Coaching or Counseling - 336.935.3148 or Ofc: 336.347.8557

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

I NEED A CHANGE 28 - ACCEPTANCE OF MY SEXUAL SELF!

Hello great and remarkable people!

MOTIVATIONAL MOMENT - Stay anchored in the moment and trust that gut feeling, many times it can and will lead to great and awesome adventures of self-exploration and self-expression. It is when we feel like we know what we are doing that we end up thinking too much becoming lost in questions, judgments, doubts, and fears that do not define us but seek to cause us to question our reality. It's amazing how something that isn't real has the ability to cause of to question and re-think what we are in reality experiencing as truth. Remember that many of the best things in life are not planned but they just happen and we as humans all have these wonderful gifts to offer to the world, it is up to us to choose to offer these gifts.

As people, many times we choose to accept all of our other selves except the two most important "the AUTHENTIC self" and "the SEXUAL self." These two "selves" has caused so much turmoil in our lives because societal standards and mores have taught against the experience of these "selves" and has conditioned us to live in the reality of "the INFERRED self." While living in "the INFERRED self" our "sexual self" has run amok and we end up "overacting" and not accepting!

Today I am working to reclaim my sexual self by learning and teaching others to love and accept their bodies and their sexuality by "re-visualizing" them and to learn to see them differently and not take what others have said about their parts and negate them and relegate them to a mere existence but to bring connectivity to the whole body.

SAY IT...PENIS!!!
SAY IT...VAGINA!!!

Most women from very early on are taught to fear penises! I've heard stories of young ladies being told that if they have sex that they would bleed to death. Likewise I've heard stories where boys were told if they have sex that they would get stuck like a dog. These stories don't teach, these stories scare people into not doing something that's natural AND causes them to look at the opposites parts as death traps! So we have grown women who are married who are fearful of their husbands penises. We have grown men who are married who are fearful of seeing and looking at their wives vaginas. Yes, I understand the motives were to protect the innocence of a child, however, at what point do we end the fear and grow to not only love, accept, and bring positive light to our own genitals but begin to see the opposites sex genitals as gifts not to be forsaken or feared but to be explored and loved?

The fear of penises that are instilled in girls is supposed to cause a healthy self-defensive fear of men to prevent rape, abuse, disrespect and aggression. The fear of vaginas that are instilled in boys is supposed to curb a young mans appetite for sexual exploration with young women so as not to cause pregnancy and to help him develop a sense of appreciation for vagina's as he matures. The issue within both of these is that both people mature and the exact opposite of the purpose is what occurs in the lives of both individuals due to social stimuli. Women still fear means penises as adults and attempt to hide that fact by many times becoming promiscuous and "self-identified" as "sexually free." Men mature and are taught that in order to subdue and to make a woman feel right you have to "beat it down" or she won't respect you! Both of these scenarios play out in the lives of most of our young-adults daily and it all stems from not having a healthy understanding of their own equipment because fear begets fear and not only are we scaring these children to fear the opposite genders' sexual parts, we are in essence teaching them to fear their own. After the fear, these young men and young women get together with other young men and women who are trying to teach one another not to fear by comparing how big they are to one another's who who made the girl they just ran a train on scream the loudest or how wet someone got. We grow up into adulthood with these fears of our own devices as well as those of others and get married and expect to have positive productive SEXUAL relationships with our spouses. How can you expect to have a positive sexual relationship when you are afraid of the sexual parts that are utilized for relationship?

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
It's very simple, we must begin to retrain our minds about sexuality and sexual organs. The best way to begin to do this is to seek out erotic ART (NOT PORN) and begin to explore the various nuances of what these parts look like separated and then what they look like while actively involved with one another! How do they complement one another? How are they receptive to one another? These are the types of things that we must teach ourselves and then we must learn to love the self of who we are!

When was the last time you looked in the mirror at your naked self? When was the last time you honored your nakedness appreciate all your entire body from head to toe? Have you ever been taught that you need to honor and appreciate your nude form...to love your nude form?

No, I'm not trying to turn you into a nudist (I'm not one) but your ability to love, appreciate, and honor your whole body INCLUDING YOUR GENITALS without having to touch yourself or possess it is essential to learning to respect and love and honor the body and genitals of the one you are with.

We have to learn to allow ourselves to be vulnerable to our partners without the feeling that they need to possess or attack us in the process. It's good to be able to be watched or to watch your partner sexually pleasure themselves or to be erotic with our bodies for our partner to really learn to respect your body (and vice-versa). Learn to simply look and enjoy and accept people AS THEY ARE.

It is important to relearn how to see the human body (including a penis ejaculating or a woman having an orgasm) as a beautiful thing rather than something taboo, forbidden, dirty, or sinful. In order to do this we must learn to re-see these things with acceptance and compassion and not from being fearful and suspicious about them while concentrating on the physical senses of what it is supposed to be. We must unlearn abuse and rekindle the form of respect for the body that was once cherished.

So rekindle that desire to see yourself and others in a positive light and begin exploring your own genitals and see they are not to be feared...likewise, neither are the opposites sex genitals to cause fear!

Here's to freedom from fear and acceptance of your sexual self...

Your Friend...The "Inner Healing" Lifestyle Coach
Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD

MY WEBSITES
Dr. T
Strong Tower HATLG
Holy Assemblies of the True and Living G-d

MY SOCIAL NETWORKS
Twitter
Facebook

Contact Dr. T  for Coaching or Counseling - 336.935.3148 or Ofc: 336.347.8557

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

I NEED A CHANGE 27 - DATING: REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS LEAD TO AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS

Hello great and remarkable people!

MOTIVATIONAL MOMENT - Everyone wants commitment, especially in relationships: whether they be friendships, sexual relationships, or romantic relationships...all of us have a goal of a certain level of commitment that we want the other person(s) to adhere to for our own personal well being. In dating, in order to evoke commitment we must be willing to deal with and face hard truths such as you are NOT the perfect person who does not need any improvement, on the contrary, you probably need a lot of improvement in many areas of your life, however, that does not disqualify you from receiving that level of commitment that you desire but it does mean that you will have to begin weighing people and the options they present very carefully against the desires of your own heart. So learn to emphasize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses by doing introspective WORK that leads to a change in your persona. Attraction and confidence are not simply given, they are learned skills and when you learn how to utilize them, you will become more honest not only with others but yourself and in freeing yourself from social ills and creating a space of social freedom you will be willing to show your true and authentic self to the one you desire and they will in turn respond to your veracity.

REALISM - THE ART OF DATING
Does appearances matter to other people? YES! Don't be fooled! What you look like and how you present yourself has MUCH to do with whether someone approaches you or not. The issue is that people are too far hung on appearances when they are seeking "THE ONE." Now,if you're just seeking "THE ONE FOR NOW," by all means stick with appearances and nothing more because it's not meant to work anyway, however, if you are seeking something deep and meaningful you have to do some introspective and cognitive reasoning.

Simple Exercise - Get up from the computer and find a full length mirror, take off all of your clothes and check yourself out. You're gorgeous aren't you? Fine as wine huh? Sexy and you know it? Now notice the difference between yourself and the last person that you WISHED you looked like!

Now, since your bubble has been busted, we can go a little further shall we? Do not mistake me, LOVE YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, it is of utmost importance for you to do so, however, be realistic concerning your image. To gain some perspective, consider the last person that you said to yourself that you WISHED you looked like. In other words, be realistic about your appearance while you're staring into someone's eyes you're attempting to want to get to know.

We all have something attractive about us that we think about ourselves and that we perceive that others think as well, however, that's not always the image that we have in our head. So, if you want something meaningful and not a fly by night, consider looking further than a face, some breasts or a nicely defined chest, a nice rump, some gorgeous curves, or that knot in the front of some nicely fit slacks. Yes, it is important to get the type of individual that you are attracted to, however, attractiveness works both ways and many times we forsake the depth, personality, and values system of people over the good looks! A woman who wants to get with a man because he's sexy and packing and gives her something she can feel who gives up the value of herself by allowing him to beat on her and blacken her eyes...what type of relationship is that and why would anyone want to remain therein?

THERE ARE NO MONEY BACK GUARANTEES
As much as many of us (both men and women) wish, there are no money back guarantees when it comes to dating! Men who choose to impress a woman with his fat bank account by taking her to the most expensive restaurants and cruises and buying her the newest pair of "Red Bottoms" cannot complain when the woman that he's spoiled is found to be a gold-digging whore who would sleep with his best friend if he could take better care of her or someone finds her with another opportunity to do "better." Likewise ladies, don't be upset when you find out that he's a no good dude who would sleep with you and everyone else he finds attractive, after all, you did give it up to him within the first few hours of meeting! Also, for all of you other women out there who didn't go that route, what were the first things he talked about with you? What did he ask you? How did he get to know you? Did he make a press to come and see you or did you have to figure out how you were going to go see him and miraculously he didn't want to go out! On the contrary, he wanted to stay in and cuddle! So, whatever you've spent your money on, there are no guarantees that you'll get back what you decide to invest into the building of a relationship.

Not only are there no money back guarantees, there is no time limit on how long you may have to search! As I sit and type this, it's been an eight (8) year journey for me being single (of course there were some dates, a few romances but mostly people who didn't want the same things that I wanted but I was willing to let go of my "money" in order to see if what I knew wouldn't work COULD work). I've been in search mode for eight years, some people longer than I, for others a few months and they've seemingly found the one they can love who will love them back! Each of our journey's are as unique as our finger prints and the journey that we have to take sometimes is not always the quickest, however, the journey will always lead us to success (whatever that means for us individually).

The question before beginning on the dating journey should be, am I committed to this cause? You will meet some gorgeous people who you will reject, there will be some gorgeous people who will reject you and all of the rejection is based upon an image that has been created inside of someone's head of what they consider their soul mate should look like. The question is are you presenting what your ideal soul mate desires in his/her mind?! It's a hard question because although we all want to see ourselves as the best thing since sliced bread, if all we're going on is looks, you should be prepared to be judged by the exact standard by which you place upon another and no matter how well put together you are, there is ALWAYS someone who can come to say "you're not all that" simply by their presence.

So what are we to do? How are we to deal with this? Take that same image of your ideal soul mate. You know the one that has everything you want and THROW IT AWAY. Let's begin with a clean canvass that has nothing on it! Open yourself up to the possibility that your ideal mate is not in your head but can moreso be found within your heart. If you would start with a clean slate, you can successfully open yourself up to meeting new and interesting people which may not only stimulate your body but will stimulate your mind and spirit!

SO YOU'RE OPEN...WHAT NEXT?
The fun begins here! Conversely, this is also the area that needs most of the work and drastic improvements have to come. Let me ask a question...If you could live your life really being who you are...how would you behave? What would be noticeable about you? What's "authentic" about you that would make you more appealing to the ones you would like to notice you? Those are the questions that you must answer! Do you think that you would be attracted to an obnoxious jerk? Or possibly an over inflated pompous loud mouth? Now ask yourself...is that who you are?

Hard truth...people in public many times become their authentic self when they think that no one is looking! When your guard is down and you can simply be you and there is seemingly no judgment, you become the authentic you that many times you refuse to see and recognize because you decided that person doesn't exist based upon societal standards and mores. So, who do people see and would you date that person if that person wasn't you? Another hard truth...if you wouldn't date that person, there is a good chance that you do act that way and that is what people see when they see you!

We have to get over our fear of being ourselves! In order to be "self" we must work towards understanding who we are! Truthfully, how many of your thoughts and opinions do you share with the world? If you were to share many of your thoughts you'd no doubt be considered racist, misogynistic, insane, stupid, ignorant, sexist, etc...however, in relationships, these things you have to share with one another in order to know whether you would work together to build upon one anothers foundation.

It's a deep journey of personal transformation but you can get there but we have to learn to be authentic and realistic in our pursuits! Now, since we have gotten to realism concerning ourselves, we can be authentic in our expectation of "THE ONE." Now you must consider your personality and what personality types go well with you and when we do that, we are ready for our first date.

Be realistic and be authentic and while you're doing that...go and speak to as many people as you desire. Don't be afraid just go right up and introduce yourself and enjoy the feeling being authentic while getting to know someone that you may not normally give a chance to even converse!

I'm not saying devalue yourself by picking people you have no attraction to, however, if you're an average joe a super model just may not be attracted to you! Be realistic in your expectations and if someone doesn't meet your expectations...don't feel bad, let them down easily, and move on to someone more suitable for what you are seeking!

Have fun keeping it real...

Your Friend...The "Inner Healing" Lifestyle Coach
Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD

MY WEBSITES
Dr. T
Strong Tower HATLG
Holy Assemblies of the True and Living G-d

MY SOCIAL NETWORKS
Twitter
Facebook

Contact Dr. T  for Coaching or Counseling - 336.935.3148 or Ofc: 336.347.8557

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

I NEED A CHANGE 26 - THE AUTHENTIC INNER YOU!

Hello great and remarkable people!

MOTIVATIONAL MOMENT - Have you ever thought about how much you dislike the world or how much you hate your own life? How often do you do it? The truth is this, if you have thought it more than ONCE, you would much rather sit around and do nothing about your circumstances or the world around you! If we want to change something, we must first act: In order to act we must sometimes take chances! If we would truly understand the first action is usually the most difficult, it is the risk and chance of being honest with ourselves.

THE AUTHENTIC INNER YOU
Why do we constantly hide the authentic inner SELF? Why do we constantly wait to step into the fullness of SELF and become the greatness and magnificence that we are destined to be? When will we make the decision that we have taken all that we will take? Are we not tired of being broke; lonely; penny-less; living from check to check and hoping that we can make ends wave? What about you? The authentic inner you that is screaming for release!

The new year is swiftly approaching! In two weeks we will have entered 2012: a time of new possibilities and opportunities to fulfill our greatness. We can use these last two weeks to re-write and over-write the novels that have already been written! We must take the time to open up and stop hiding our authentic inner beingness! The first place is to be conscious in all that we do and understand that we must be willing to challenge the certainty of our future that we base upon our present state of consciousness, it does not appropriately measure the fullness of our possibility of life! It actually disrupts the truth of our greatness! We cannot measure our whole life based upon our present circumstance of lack! We must instead begin to measure our life based upon the greatness found within! We must not give voice to complaints in any shape, form, or fashion!

That is where all the problems begin actually! We cannot see past our present place of existence! We can't see past this present situation! I know how you feel! Like you, I have been there and honestly just came out of this place! I have even been in the position that I didn't want to live to see another moment and did not have the fight to do anything else in my life: I had simply gotten to a point of being tired. I tried everything there was to try, however, I did not try to realize and actualize the authentic inner me. The realization that we have created an alternate and imaginary captivity causes us to feel inadequate and we use this "self-defining" moment as truth, we do not see that this is only a partial reality! It is not the full truth! This is however where we usually feel that our best is far beyond our reach and that we'll never quite make it to that place yet we take a conscious leap into the unknown based upon an unconscious reality that WE ARE GREAT!

Although we made a conscious decision to leap, it was based upon an unconscious determining factor! Our goal is to make a conscious decision based upon a conscious determining factor. To get there, we must stop being the victim and we cannot blame anyone else for the things that are going on in our lives! We must become something different so that we may do something different!

WE MUST BECOME CONSCIOUS SO THAT WE MAY PRESENT THE TRUTH!

When we have learned to be conscious, we will likewise transform our lives and will be awakened to each and every possibility and live in a way that our goal is always to make our lives better and the greatest that it can possibly be! We realize that our present view that seeks to define our reality is nothing more than a construct of our own level of consciousness! If that consciousness is limited then our life view will be limited but if it is unlimited we gain the possibility of the impossible and we actualize the reality of casting off the self-limitation of this world and we robe ourselves with the limitless possibilities of our inner being!

When we can admit that life is not always going to be without controversy, however, in the imperfections can be found joy unspeakable and full of glory and can be perfected due to the level of your consciousness that has been raised from limited to limitless. Due to knowing and understanding, we can and we must learn to abandon the world of limitation and lack by letting go of what we are assured of and swan dive into the unlimited unknown and allow your consciousness to discover the unlimited reality in lieu of constantly allowing ourselves to be limited to a preconceived notion of who we are and what we can do.

There is honestly nothing that can stop us or hold us back other than an unconscious clinging to a mistaken reality of who we have been and trying to take that individual into who we are becoming. We cannot allow the comfort of who we have been to stagnant our opportunity for who we are becoming! Stop hiding from yourself and stand up in the power and fullness of the reality of your inner authentic reality and find places in your life that you can take these conscious risks so that you may be liberated to know that the only thing holding you captive is a misconstrued and limited view of yourself!

Will you discover yourself and jump into the unknown? If your answer is yes, I would like for you to schedule your 2012 Inner Healing Session with me, where I will be here to help you see what has held you back in 2011 so that you can peacefully go into 2012 and make it the year of inner healing that manifests as outward liberation!

Your Friend...The "Inner Healing" Lifestyle Coach
Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD

MY WEBSITES
Dr. T
The Harvest Group
Phoenix Outreach Services
Temple El Shammah Online Assembly
Mt. Sinai Holy Assembly of the True and Living G-d
Assemblies of the True and Living G-d

MY SOCIAL NETWORKS
Twitter
Facebook

Contact Dr. T  for Coaching or Counseling - 404.579.6027

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

I NEED A CHANGE 25 - WHO ARE YOU WITH?

Motivational Moment - Imagining joy and happiness and not taking any steps to bring it into fullness is akin to taking a razor to your body in anticipation of the relief you'll feel when the razor cut heals. Stop playing with yourself and begin to manifest inherent joy from within!

WHO ARE YOU WITH?

In the world of business and relationships, this is one of the most questioned questions that people seem to like to conjure up to find leewsay into your personal life and matters. In ministry when you introduce yourself as someone with a title, the next question asked is "so who are you with?" When you meet a new man/woman who may be interested in you, the first question that they ask is, "so who are you with?" When you go to a job interview, they question "who are you with?"

Well let me respond to all of these questions! Does it matter who I'm with if I'm not together? Does it matter who I'm with if everything about me screams I'm not with anyone? It is so amazing to see people who are with someone make themselves seem as if they are with no one and those who are with no one do their very best to seem as if they are with someone!

It is both amazing and frustrating (to both see and experience) the "yin/yang" factor of life in order to belong to something or someone. We pretend like we are "with" someone to not be asked "the question" and we pretend like we are not with someone in order to be asked "the question."

Our understanding of "the question" comes from a principle of completion! We constantly look out around us because we see that every thing is around us and so by seeking out the things surrounding us, we hope that one day we will find something from without that will compliment and complete us.

What we refuse to see is that while we are searching for things, people, and places that make us feel like we are complete and whole we are actually separating ourselves from the actual thing that will heal us and manifest wholeness. We fight against our "self" in order to find ourselves in order to become whole with our "self." We by nature have become divisive and will never be able to overcome the joylessness of life that is borne of a divisive dual nature that totally contradicts itself in all forms, doings, and thought processes.

When did we develop the need for things, people, and places in order to become whole? When did our "healing" become contingent with manifested matter? We must gain understanding that the pain in which we experience and all the suffering due to negativity towards our pain manifests itself as such due to our willful participation in illusions that has been carried and handed down to us from our parents and all of our forefathers who didn't understand that concentrating on these negative experiences would lend a hand of pain down to the 20th and 30th generation.

Please look at the verse that helps to perpetuate this thought process in the song:
By & By
We are tossed and driven on the restless sea of time;somber skies and howling tempests oft succeed a bright sunshine; in that land of perfect day, when the mists are rolled away,we will understand it better by and by.

We are often destitute of the things that life demands, want of food and want of shelter, thirsty hills and barren lands; we are trusting in the Lord, and according to God's word, we will understand it better by and by.

Far be it for me to say that this doesn't lend hope to our forefathers and as I just read the words, it brings hope to me as well, however, what are we really doing in this song? This song is recalling and reiterating our negative experiences as if they will persist forever. There is no hope for ridding our lives of the experiences, there is only hope of understanding why we have the experiences after a season and a time of consistent "negative" experience.

Why do we have to live like that? Who says that we have to reiterate the negative in order to understand the why? The truth is WE DO NOT! Over and over again, we do go through this same process searching for EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE but the right place and hope we understand it better by and by!

Why is it that we feel it is fine to educate our children (hence their children and their children and their children) by saying the way to healing is through hurt. The way to ease the unhappiness is to accept stress as a way of life and to struggle to control conditions that surround you that are uncontrollable while becoming the slave to that which you are hoping to control in order to be free! Running towards freedom will never change the fact that you are running from unhappiness and discomfort!

We run toward the freedom thereby forgetting the distraction and suffer the consequence of inward division. We end up serving two masters...

1) That which we do not desire
2) That which is a moments desire due to resisting that which we do not

Becoming inwardly divisive we keep ourselves from knowing the fullness that we have within ourselves. The experience of being whole and complete RIGHT NOW. The illusion that the world is what our thoughts and feelings would have us believe that it is, is just that: an illusion! Seeking out things, people, and places because our thoughts and feelings have aligned with what people have said is the illusion of happiness and success.

In order to free oneself from this generation-based self-imposed illusion we have to learn to face our issues and problems head on and release our "self" from "ourselves" and all its imaginary conclusions concerning our lives. "Ourselves" is the unseen source of conflict, disillusionment, and negativity in our life due to its "plan" for finding lasting complete peace and wholeness from those things we can see and touch.

The path to self-liberation and wholeness is to allow the "self" opportunity for enlightenment and search within for the ever-present contentment and wholeness! YOU ARE COMPLETE, you just have to look within yourself to see it! When we search within we will find a world that is brand new where wholeness and happiness are the exact same thing and that world is within...NOT WITHOUT!

So the next time that someone asks "the question," you can proudly say...MY "SELF"!

Your Friend...
Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD

MY WEBSITES
Dr. T
The Harvest Group
Phoenix Outreach Services
Temple El Shammah Online Assembly
Mt. Sinai Holy Assembly of the True and Living G-d
Assemblies of the True and Living G-d

MY SOCIAL NETWORKS
Twitter
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Contact Dr. T  for Coaching or Counseling - 404.579.6027

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

I NEED A CHANGE 24 - GET RID OF DEAD WEIGHT

Are you carrying around dead weight? No I'm not talking about the spare tire around your mid-section (although we need to deal with changing our habits in order to be proactive concerning our health), I'm talking about past relationships, resentments, hurts, anger, and the list goes on and on!

You know the signs of dead weight, everyone does but we all try to live in some fanciful world to make it seem as if we aren't carrying it around and so we do our best to simply not pay attention to it in hopes that it will just "GO AWAY!"

Well, I have some great news...YOUR DEAD WEIGHT CAN BE GONE! If you buy my patented "DEAD WEIGHT BE GONE" spray! All you have to do is spray it in your house three (3) times a day and after one week, all of that DEAD WEIGHT will dissipate and will never come back to haunt you again!

WHAT IN THE WORLD? I know, that was just not right was it, however, this is what we do in order get rid of everything else!

Allopathic medicine gets rid of the symptoms, at the expense of creating other symptoms which may be worse than the original symptoms! Lawyers don't usually get down to the problem at hand, they usually deal with the symptoms and that's the reason they are in courts. It's the exact same with us! Our models have been to TREAT THE SYMPTOMS BUT NEVER GET TO THE ROOT CAUSE OF THE ISSUE!

FIRST, THE SYMPTOMS...
1) Are you in the same place you were in a year or two or even five? Let's be honest now! Let's not force ourselves into lies! Ok, so we have to go there! Just because you're no longer homeless doesn't mean you have come out of the situation that you were in a year ago!

Ok so you're no longer in the shelter, GOOD FOR YOU! I'm proud of you, keep up the good work but it's not time to stop! Why? Well the fact that you can't afford to buy a decent meal or go to the store and get food to make a decent meal and being forced to live off of $.99 McDoubles from McDonald's and $.99 Spicy Chicken Nuggets from Wendy's tells me that you are still in the same situation.

Having to worry about whether or not your bills are going to get paid this month and not having enough money to cover ALL of your bills which means you could possibly become a person who recurs homelessness...YOU ARE IN THE SAME POSITION AS THE HOMELESS MAN/WOMAN WITH NO FOOD TO EAT OR ANYWHERE TO LIVE! IT'S NOT YOUR SITUATION THAT HAS CHANGED, IT IS YOUR ENVIRONMENT!

Let's not confuse environments with situations! Environments can change but if the situation (your mindset) is still poverty driven and unfocused, any environment can quickly become the prison from which you thought you escaped!

2) Displeasure and Stagnation, are they reigning supreme in your life? Do you sometimes feel like you just can't make it out of whatever you are in?

Let me ask you this, WHAT ARE YOU IN? WHEN DID YOU GET THERE? HOW DID YOU GET THERE? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET OUT?

A friend of mine asked me a VERY important question the other day...he said "What does KFC sale?" Of course I said "chicken." He asked me that same question over and over again with emphasis on different words and of course I responded but by the last time my answer wan't "chicken" it was "CHICKEN!!!!!" Now of course I see myself as a pretty smart person, however, stupidity had taken over right at that moment! He asked me...WHAT DO YOU SALE? I was STUMPED! I was like WOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SALE! What is the point? I'm glad you asked!

The point that he was trying to make is that you may serve some things on the side due to all the talents and gifts with which you've been endowed, however, YOU SALE "CHICKEN!" I've come to the reality that I have the "CHICKEN," I just have to work on my spices in order to get the "CHICKEN" just right! What does that mean? THE BRAND OF ME HAS TO COMPLEMENT WHAT I'M SELLING! If you don't complement what you're trying to sale, YOU AREN'T GOING TO MAKE ANY SALES!

Our lack of mobility and enthusiasm is NOT the cause, that is a symptom of a deeper underlying issue! It is the issue of dead weight! Think about all the dead weight that you carry around with you and that you actually pick up along the way!

Family, friends, thoughts, relationships, debt are ALL DEAD WEIGHT! Don't get me wrong there are those who we cherish who add to the greatness of who we are and the pursuit of who we can be and push us as we push them, that's not dead weight! However, the family and friends that constantly upset us and tell us that we won't ever amount to anything, those thoughts of inferiority because of your environment, or even the blatant disrespect that you have developed for yourself over years of failure...ALL DEAD WEIGHT! What is in your life that is constantly holding you down and holding you back? What and who is attached to you who won't value your time, skills, expertise, friendship and are unappreciative in other areas of your life trying to rush you when you need to take your time while at the same time not even attempting to make an effort to help you be a successful...WHAT DO YOU SALE AGAIN?

It's time...RIGHT NOW! YES NOW! It's time, CUT THE DEAD WEIGHT! No reason to keep it, YOU CAN LIVE AND SURVIVE WITHOUT THEM! Yes some situations in your life may need to change, yes you may have to get up a little early in the morning to catch the bus but hey, you'll have achieved a new level of independence and social responsibility to UPLIFT YOURSELF!

Make a fresh start TODAY! Don't wait until tomorrow, tomorrow is a figment of your imagination and yesterday was a spring for today and no longer exists! When you realize that all you have is this very moment of existence, live in that moment as if it is the last moment of your life! LIVE THAT MOMENT TO THE HIGHEST! You may want to be a help but how can you help someone if you don't have anything to help them with? You don't even have yourself, someone else has you and you're playing the puppet!

The truth is...YOU ARE HOLDING YOURSELF BACK! People can only do that which you allow them to do, you have control over the decisions you make and you decide what/who impacts you and what/who doesn't!

You have to make a choice and the as far as the dead weight...CUT THE ROPE! The message is you're either going to begin climbing or you're going to fall! If you find someone else to become dead weight, that's fine but no longer will I be your target market!

We have to learn to walk and when we walk, we must only allow others around us who are WALKING! You have to pay close attention though! Some people are walking but they are walking backwards, there are those on the side of the road trying to get up to walk. Encourage them but don't help them up, tell them to come on and follow in your footsteps but THEY MUST GET UP AND BEGIN THE WALK WITHOUT ASSISTANCE! Be careful of who you allow to walk with you and who is walking around you! Make sure that you are both walking into SUCCESS!!!

When it's all said and done, GET UP AND GO FOR A WALK! Clear your mind, be at peace with nature, and say to yourself, "I NEED A CHANGE FROM DEAD WEIGHT!" It's not about your environment, it is about your situation (mindset)! You can put a person with the situation (mindset) of a billionaire into the environment of a homeless shelter and within a year, he'll own his own shelter! You can put a person with a situation (mindset) of a poverty pimp into the environment of a fortune 500 company and within 6 months, the company will be bankrupt!

WHAT IS YOUR SITUATION?

Your Friend...
Rabbinit Tanya A. Alkhaliq - "Dr. T"
CEO - Tanya Alkhaliq Enterprises & The Harvest Group
The Harvest Group
Phoenix Outreach Services
Temple El Shammah
Assemblies of the True and Living G-d
Twitter
Facebook

Contact Dr. T  for Coaching or Counseling - 443.529.3969

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

I NEED A CHANGE - CHANGE YOUR ENERGY FLOW, CHANGE YOUR LIFE

This life that we currently live in doesn't make it easy to have a positive flow of energy, neither does it stimulate us to move to change our energy flow for the benefit of changing our lives! So, today's I NEED A CHANGE is concerning energy levels, the flow of energy in our bodies and how we can work with our bodies to rid our bodies of toxicity and negative energy that continuously kills us day by day.

The purpose of stimulating the energy in our bodies by breathing PROPERLY is beneficial for circulating blood and fluid through our system which in turn cleans out and purifies our blood, removes toxins from our system, and affords us a connection with the divine.

We must also understand that it's not only about breathing properly but it has to do with how and when and where we move as well! Leading a sedentary life - as the United States has proven that this is the type of life that is espoused through all the sedentary "in home" games that are manufactured and thrown in our faces daily - is our most disturbing factor of changing our lives and creating an optimal healthy life system within our bodies!

When we say, I NEED A CHANGE IN MY BODY, what are we saying? We are saying that we will do what we need to do in order to turn our disease ridden, unhealthy, non-productive, sick bodies into whole well bodies that are able to fight off any disease known or unknown because our bodies are so equipped to handle all of it! It is thus equipped because the energy flow through our bodies have been enhanced and developed to handle the negative energy that would seek to "destroy" us.

So first and foremost, MAKE A DECISION that you want a healthy body! Get up and move, go for a walk, do something, get up and move, clean the house, mow the yard! Whatever you do JUST MOVE! Stop being SEDENTARY in your life and get your heart pumping, your blood flowing, your lymph glands to action and watch your energy level sky rocket!

Add breathing properly and see where life takes you! Stimulating your flow of inner energy will boost your own inner feelings of well-being.

PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS OF THE BREATH:

1. Find a comfortable seated position, feet placed firmly into the ground, spine straight, hands clasped and relaxed in your lap, eyes closed.

2. Begin with slow rhythmic breathing inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the nose. Your goal is to make the exhale breath twice as long as the inhaling breath. As you concentrate on this breathing, feel your hands and feet start to warm up and your fingers tingle as your energy flow is stimulated.

3. To strengthen this exercise, visualize this energy flow as a red glow passing down your arms and legs with each exhale. As the red energy glow passes through your hands, allow it to radiate up through the center of your body. Red is a warm, generating color. Always follow the breath through your body, visualize it's path. Lead it to where you want it to go. 5 -10 minutes of this will allow
your body to be adequately energized!

Mountain Pose (Tadasana) and Variation

1. Stand erect, feet together, eyes closed. Listen to your body as it breathes. Allow all the tension to relax in the muscles. Let go.

2. Step feet apart, shoulder width. Slowly raise the arms up on both sides with an inhale to shoulder level. Exhale as you feel the blood rush through the arms, palms up.

3. Inhale and raise arms up all the way to the top, bring palms together, as you exhale. Hold this posture for 5 to 10 seconds Breathing through the posture.

4. On your next exhale, lower your arms to a folded position over your head, grasping your elbows with opposite hands. Relax and breath in this posture, holding for 5-10 seconds.

5. Slowly inhale, open up and slowly lower the arms back to your sides.

6. Repeat this exercise four more times. You will create a powerful healing inner energy supply and balanced physical tone.

Your Friend...
Rabbinit Tanya A. Alkhaliq - "Dr. T"
CEO - Tanya Alkhaliq Enterprises & The Harvest Group
The Harvest Group
Phoenix Outreach Services
Temple El Shammah
Assemblies of the True and Living G-d
Twitter
Facebook

Contact Dr. T  for Coaching or Counseling - 443.529.3969

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert