Apr 15, 2013

I NEED A CHANGE 29 - HARSH TRUTHS THAT MAKES US BETTER PEOPLE (EDITION 1)

Hello great and remarkable people!

MOTIVATIONAL MOMENT - You are a gifted and wonderfu creation. There is nothing about you that isn't great and magnificent. You are the epiome of greatness and all that potential energy in you is awaiting to synthesize with your action to produce the kenetic culture we call life and living. So, stop living life from the perspective of who you are not but instead...let's work within the parameters of who you are and LIVE THE LIFE that will better you as an individual.

"DO WHAT?" So many people ask that question when they have been given an instruction of something that they don't agree with on a moral, philosophical, or cultural reasoning, however, you do things that are against those grains DAILY, the difference is that people can see you (or at least the person who asked you to do it can) and because we have been taught the art of lying by saying if nobody sees me do it, it is akin to not having done it. We let our guards down when nobody is around but when someone is around we feel as if we have a reputation to keep and an image to uphold, however, when we have a tainted image, why would we want to uphold that image?

'Cause nobody saw me do those things so my image isn't bad at all...I have an impeccable image in the community, upstanding and wonderful.'
Boo boo...let me be the one to tell you that just because nobody saw it, doesn't mean that somebody didn't tell it and your image is not only negative, it is going to get you nowhere no matter whose organization you join with, no matter who you become friends with,and no matter whose board you are allowed to sit on...YOUR IMAGE IS TARNISHED!

So why are you saying "DO WHAT?" as if it's such a bad thing...you don't even know what I want you to do yet! So, let's figure it out together shall we 'cause honestly, I don't even know at this point.

JUST A SIDE NOTE: If your career is great and you're thrilled about your wonderful life and your relationships are just awesome. Please enjoy the rest of your day and stop reading through this rubbish. You are doing a great job on your own and I'm so proud of you, as a matter of fact, everyone who reads this article will be proud of you as well. So please, don't waste your time by sitting here for it will be totally mind numbing for you anwill make you wish you shot yourself in the head with an automatic weapon. If however you don't fit within that special group of people...THIS IS FOR YOU!

EXERCISE #1
Name seven (7) impressive things about yourself! You can write them down (I like to write so I write) or just say them aloud or hey even better just walk up to a complete stranger and tell them those seven impressive things about yourself. Now, here is the greatness about this, you CANNOT say anything that you are! You must name seven impressive things that you do! Yes, what do you do? Not "who you are" but "what you do." Go ahead, I'll wait...

How hard did you find that to do? Was it really that difficult? Why do you think that was so difficult? For some of you that was easy wasn't it? For those of us where this was easy, we found it easy because we learned a principle years ago or maybe a few hours ago that helped us to accept that we are powerful and that we can definitely do what it takes to get the job done but more importantly that what we know how to do is important! For those of us who found this absurd and hard, we are still taking the time to learn that self-same process and guess what it is okay. We are where others have been in life and we are further along in life and bettering ourselves than half the United States...either way we are in good company and we must give ourselves a hand for that.

EXERCIS #2
Give yourself a standing ovation for 2 minutes and be serious! Cheer, root, clap, run around in circles, do whatever you do when you really like somebody for what they do. Yes, you may even cry, snot, and pass out. Whatever you feel like you must do and what you do for other people, DO IT FOR YOURSELF for two minutes (AT LEAST) everyday...ok, go ahead, I'll be here when you get back.

So now, what you're going to hate to hear...you knew it was coming I don't know why you thought it wasn't! The title of this is HARSH TRUTHS THAT MAKES US BETTER PEOPLE...so here is Harsh Truth #1, I hope you're ready and when I say it, I'm sure you'll be able to identify with it...here you go...relgious people and the like...I hope you're ready for it 'cause it is HARSH and downright NOT RIGHT AND NOT COOL! Ok, so here it is...

THE WORLD AND THE PEOPLE OF THIS WORLD ONLY CARES ABOUT YOU WHEN THEY CAN GET SOMETHING FROM YOU
Yes I know the earth is the L-rds and the fullness thereof and they that dwell therein, however, stop doing something for someone or a group of people and see how quickly they dispense of you! I know people who have had jobs where when they couldn't make it to church because they were going to work, the church issued them a letter of release (and yes they were sending in tithes and offerings). Understand that your money isn't always good enough, instead, your presence means so much more in differing settings for differing reasons to different people!

Ok, so who do you love the most? Think about it, the one person that you just LOVE LOVE LOVE! Get them fixated into your mind! See their face. See you doing stuff with them. Remember some of those crazy fun times you had together! Now, you're having those fun times and all of a sudden they fall on the ground...they just got shot! They are lying down in the middle of the street bleeding and screaming and someone rushes up and says "Step aside," and then he looks over the bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife...yes, he's gonna operate and remove the bullet right there in the middle of the street.

My first response kicks in to ask, "hey, are you a doctor or surgeon or indian spiritual healer?" and his reply to me is "No, I just saw this on House last night...," so of course I'm like, "don't you think we should call someone who knows what they are doing before you injure my love even worse" and he's so annoyed and he turns and looks at you and yells at you, "Hey, I'm a nice freaking guy, I'm honest, I'm always on time, I wash my hands four and five times a day, I'm a great son, and I'm a very well rounded individual and I never use foul language."

So...HOW DOES ANY OF THAT HELP YOUR LOVE LYING ON THE GROUND BLEEDING AND PROBABLY NOW UNCONSIOUS? "The truth is before I allow you to stick a knife into someone I love I need to know that you know what you're doing is the point. Can you do that?" Now you've gone and done it, you keep questioning this man when he's trying to save your loved one. You are being shallow and selfish! Did you not hear about all of his other amazing qualities that he told you?

In light of all the other amazing things that he does and all that he is...does it truly matter if he knows how to perform surgery? YES, IT MATTERS A GREAT DEAL. One slip of a knife and your loved one could be the next funeral you attend. So here is the TERRIBLE AWFUL of this situation: YOU ARE IN THAT VERY SITUATION EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE! The only difference is you're the person with the pocket knife and all of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.

You try to tell people how beautiful you are, or how lovely you are, or how wonderful you are and society constantly shuns you and you often wonder why you get no respect from society. The answer is simple. It is because society is in full need of things and what you are offering (good looks, pretty face, good hair, cute shoes, big booty, big other things, etc...) is not answering th key things necessary to survival. Society needs food, entertainment, homes, fulfilling sexual relationships and non-sexual friendships. They are needy and you show up at the scene of the emergency wielding a pocket knife with no set skills in order to know how to properly utilize a pocket knife.

By virtue of your birth, you were born into a system designed to meet the needs of people. So, you're going to either learn how to use that pocket knife (whatever it may be) to seeing to the needs of the people by acquiring unique skills and abilities OR the world will continue to reject you no matter how nice of a person you are. You will be poor, you will be alone, and you will be left out in the cold! No if's, and's, or but's!

Does that seem mean or cold? THere is love and kindness and yes they matter...as long as it results in you DOING things for people that they are not getting anywhere else...if there is an offer for it elsewhere, you're going to have to do it better and leave a remarkable impression upon the people you serve.

The hospitality industry is not huge business because of simplicity of function, it's huge because people like to be catered to...even when they are poor!

Here's to freedom from fear and acceptance of your better self...

Your Friend...The "Inner Healing" Lifestyle Coach
Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD

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Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

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