I NEED A CHANGE 32 - WAYS TO STOP PROCRASTINATING (EDITION 1)

Hello great and remarkable people!

MOTIVATIONAL MOMENT - We all have good intentions and desires for our lives. We set goals and even define objectives in order to meet those goals breaking down our big dream into manageable portions. It is human nature to desire to want more out of life than that which we already have and so often we vow to get all that we desire and we even convince ourselves that we deserve it. The reality is we do deserve it, we just have to motivate ourselves to believe in ourselves regardlesss to the surrounding circumstances. Don't let ANYTHING get in your way! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

So all that motivation sounded good huh? Well, let me wipe it right off your face because there is a force at work against motivation and success. One of the things that impedes that progress are four little words: "I'll do it later"! Not only do those words affect us in such a negative fashion, but the reality of frustration works against us to keep us away from our good intentions and desire. These two things working together forces us into a place of inactivity and the forfeiture of success!

Today, I would like to offer three tips to help both you and I to forfeit ill-success and thwart procrastination and frustration out of our lives.

1) KNOW YOURSELF - One must always take into account the effects that procrastination and frustration has on oneself. Not only that, you must consider how they begin to take effect in your life. What type of moods or experiences bring on frustration or your desire to procrastinate?

Having insight into this helps to prevent you from feeling inadequate because you don't have unnecessary concerns on you concerning how you will get something done and you can safely identify behaviors are not conducive to success which will allow you to curb those behaviors in order to continue reaching for your dreams.

2) MANAGE YOUR TIME WISELY - There are not enough hours to go around in a day in order for us to get all that we need done "done"! We must accept that we can only do so much with the time we are given. Adding too much to our plate is not going to help us to become effective and an expert at anything and will force us into mediocrity in all things. In order to alleviate this, we need to learn to create timetables so that we can get done what we need to get done. Whether we work on several projects one day out of the week per project or work on one project until we move on to another: We must learn to be time-management centric. Not only that but we need to also compare our desired time-table to our actual performance. This will help us to plan our time more effectively and give us the ability to plan more effectively in the future.

This will help us to simplify our working patterns and effectively plan our lives. This will also help to improve the quality of our work and will alleviate stress from our lives. This in turn will keep away those feelings of inadequacy which makes us frustrated and leads to procrastination.

3) CHANGE PERSPECTIVES - How we think is so important, it is in our minds that we make up whether something will be successful or unsuccessful. When we consider our assignments and the
things that we put our hands to, we need to consider what brought us to those assignments? Was it money, was it prestige, was it a hand up, was it based on just what we could get at the time, or did it have a soul calling to us? Many times we forget about why we began to do certain things or why we have taken on certain assignments and as such we need to navigate through our thoughts and recall why we began and then reassess whether or not that purpose is still serving us. If it does not, we need to find a way to another project. Also, we need to learn to venture out a little more and consider things that we may have not considered in the past because it was not "interesting" to us. For instance, I had no interest in line dancing and kinda thought it was stupid. One day I went line dancing and had the best time of my life! It was important for me to experience something outside of my immediate interest to find that I have other interests further than even I could consider.

Doing this will help us to identify our personal goals and will improve our relationship with others and with ourselves. Learning how to deal with oneself is the first step in learning how to connect with others who may or may not be like you. Lastly, when we re-think, we remove intimidation and can then focus on what is most important about the assignment that we have taken on!

When all is said and done, we must learn to master certain aspects of ourselves in order to move on and become and remain successful in our lives!

Here's to SUCCESS FOR EVERYONE and being free of procrastination!

Your Friend...The "Inner Healing" Lifestyle Coach
Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD


MY SOCIAL NETWORKS
Twitter
Facebook

Contact Dr. T  for Coaching or Counseling - 919.741.2997 or Ofc: 832.422.8178

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

I NEED A CHANGE - HARSH TRUTHS THAT MAKE US BETTER PEOPLE (Edition 3)

Hello great and remarkable people!

MOTIVATIONAL MOMENT - There are times in life where it seems like we are consistently on the losing end of things. Life is designed as a conundrum of so many experiences: some positive, some negative but all for our benefit. Use the experiences of life to shift your life and to build you into what you desire to see. The reality is growth comes because of opposing force, without the opposition there will be no growth. You cannot be receptive to growth without being receptive to the opposition that causes that growth!

There was a song many years ago that said "sweep around your own front door before you try to sweep around mine." I think that song is a fitting song for today's harsh truth. We are living in a digital world that is socialized and connected. Not only do we now have access to the internet for information, we have access to the internet on particular things in this planet, sooner than later, people will be able look up you body temperature and any issues with your body by simply typing in your name. It's just not about reference anymore, it's about the internet of things specifically: PEOPLE!

Think about it for a moment, what types of shows are mostly on tv now? I mean it started with the Real World so many years ago but now just about every tv show is a reality based show peering behind the closed doors of people's lives and making it into a public spectacle. People are hating people simply based upon the characters that people play on reality based tv. Now, do not get me wrong, I love reality based tv just like anyone else, however, why can we not get something authentic, real, and not so full of drama? Why? Because we love drama, we love the read, we love the issues surrounding people's lives. It makes us feel better about our own lives and makes us seem better than some of these people because we see all their "behind the door drama" so we judge them when in reality if people put up some camera's in some of our homes we wouldn't be able to show face in our local community anymore!

What am I getting at...we ALL have issues and not only do we all have issues, we all have things that we need to work on not for other people's sake, but for our own sake! If our goal is to honestly be better people we must...

SEEK OUT THE FAULTS WITHIN OURSELVES AND CORRECT THEM!

Yes, we have to be introspective about our own issues and even when we seemingly have no way of correcting them, our goal must be seeking to correct them by any means necessary.

The reality is that many times the faults we find in others that we detest are not too far from the faults that we have in ourselves that we do not desire to acknowledge. We can no longer escape through the blame game, we must work through our own issues. Paul said to work out your own soul salvation with fear and trembling! What Paul was in essence saying to look at yourself and figure out the issue within you. It will cause fear but in the end you will be a better person!

So today I challenge everyone to look at yourself instead of lying to yourself! That's what we do instead of looking at ourselves, we look at the epitome of what we desire! Our harsh truth today is that you are liar and you are the first partaker of your personal lie! Stop lying to yourself and assume responsibility for becoming a better person FOR YOU!

Here's to exposure to the lie and liar and healing through the hurt of the false self...

Your Friend...The "Inner Healing" Lifestyle Coach
Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD


MY SOCIAL NETWORKS
Twitter
Facebook

Contact Dr. T  for Coaching or Counseling - 919.741.2997 or Ofc: 832.422.8178

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

I NEED A CHANGE 30 - HARSH TRUTHS THAT MAKES US BETTER PEOPLE (EDITION 2)

Hello great and remarkable people!

MOTIVATIONAL MOMENT - Ensuring that things get done can be a very daunting and scary process. Even when you have gone through all the pre-work, the post-production and desire of all the prework may not even yield the results for which you are seeking. In all of this, we have been conditioned to instead procrastinate and not do as we should do and ensure that we have done our very best but it starts with our mindset. The beginning mindset is that of motivation and encouragement. The foremost area of encouragement is your own self! Donald Lawrence wrote, "sometimes, you have to encourage yourself, sometimes you have to speak victory during the tests..." and this is what has to happen at the beginning of our plans and goals. Nobody can motivate you like you can motivate yourself, so motivate yourself by speaking to yourself and be encouraged to start the task at hand!

Lao Tzu once said, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." This proves just as true today as it did years ago when it was written. The issue: We do not want to begin that journey because we think it is too much of a task to do so. When we think something is too "tasking" we usually do not do well at that task and it's at that point that we need a reality check!

The reality check for today is not a nice one, it's downright rude, however, these are harsh truths to make us BETTER PEOPLE. It's not about what is nice but it is about helping each and every individual to make some much needed and desired changes in their lives. Have you read the newspapers, looked at the news, gone to a high school or an elementary school for that matter lately? Well if you have, then you know that we have to come up with some real solutions to hep people to identify with life and to assist in making change possible.

So what could be so harsh about making a change? Well when the change is all about you stepping up to the plate or taking a seat it gets to be a little more harsh as it hits close to home! So what does all of this mean? It means, "if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen!"

Alec Baldwin in a speech he gave in a movie stated that he doesn't care if you're a nice guy! It doesn't matter if you're a good father, you should go home and play with your kids but, if you want to remain employed in that line of business they have to "close!"

What does it mean to close?
A lot of people have heard this term in life especially in association with the stock market or real estate. They close on a stock exchange deal or they close on a real estate exchange, basically, they are saying MAKE US MONEY! Closing is in essence bringing money into the business and ensuring the livelihood of those who work for the business and bringing a dividend for the investors into the business who own stock, shares, or some type of invested interest into the company! So, how does closing apply to us in life? How is a dividend going to help me in my life especially if it's not based on cash value and cash assets and therefore not marketable?

The Most Important Asset in the World!
Most people concern themselves with money way too much and way too often. Yes I'm aware that we have to pay bills, take our kids school shopping, mortgage, insurance, gas, food, lights, water, and we dare not forget about the entertainment on weekends and the like. We in the United States are a bunch of consumers and so the bottom line is the cash value but we neglect the inherent value of people: OF OURSELVES. The most important asset in the world is the capital of humanity and the investment that we have to allow ourselves to play the role.

If someone makes money from us, WE ALLOWED IT! So what are you going to do about someone making millions off of your singular investment while only giving you $2k a month for more that 160 hours of work? After bills you have no money left to LIVE LIFE!

There are so many people that says that if you don't have any money left over after you pay bills to do the things that you desire to do, then you are a responsible adult. That may be very true, however, the irresponsible adults are doing the things that we desire to do and although we may not have to deal with evictions and lights cut off, we then demonize them for "having fun" and being "irresponsible." How "responsible" is that of us?

It is from the median of both of these extremes that we can learn a valuable lesson...life is about responsibility but life is also about upward mobility and living as well! So how do we cope, what do we do...WE HAVE TO LEARN TO CLOSE!

Sometimes we have to close some doors on some jobs we have and take some steps in life that we do not wish to take. For instance, nobody wants to move back in with their parents but the reality is sometimes it's best to do so in order that you learn how to take care of yourself. Build yourself until you begin CLOSING! We must close if we are going to take advantage of the untapped potential found in humanity to not only lift ourselves up but to uplift someone else!

NOBODY CARES ABOUT ANYTHING THAT YOU DO UNTIL YOU CLOSE!

Yes it is rude but it is also honest as to the expectation of the world; however, the difference between me an the world is that the world says that it is wrong to tell you nobody cares about you and would instead like to see you consistently be a failure because they won't give you the tools needed to encourage yourself to keep moving. Most people will give up their dreams if they do not have some form of "negative" reinforcement to help propel them into encouraging themselves and that's where I come into let you know that it's not ok for you to keep failing! I desire above all things that you succeed so I give you what you need so that you will be able to recognize the inherent value of yourself and continue to push forward into success!

This is not about money...THIS IS ABOUT CLOSING FOR YOURSELF! Invest in your human capacity and watch your life begin to change! Nobody will EVER care about you, UNTIL YOU care about you and your desire to manifest the best in your own life...sometimes at the detriment of others! Yes...YOU have to learn to be selfish for yourself instead of being selfish to yourself more often!

Here's to freedom from fear and acceptance of your better self...

Your Friend...The "Inner Healing" Lifestyle Coach
Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD


MY SOCIAL NETWORKS
Twitter
Facebook

Contact Dr. T  for Coaching or Counseling - 919.741.2997 or Ofc: 832.422.8178

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Redesign Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

Tanya A. Alkhaliq, ThD
Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert