Simple Steps to Increase Social Media Visibility

The truth is that being visible increases your opportunity for create business, networking, and opportunities for oneself! Conversely, if you are not visible, you may as well not exist! Your product may be great, your service impeccable, and your business acumen on point but if your prospective customer and the consumers can't find you online...YOUR GOING TO FAIL!

You must have an online presence and it is just as equally important to not only develop that online presence but it is equally important to do so regularly scheduled! Yes I know that youa re busy and don't have time for regular updates and writing blogs everyday but truth be told, you need to put yourself on SOME TYPE OF SCHEDULE so that the people will KNOW YOUR NAME!

There are over 1.5 BILLION people who use the internet on a REGULAR and DAILY basis to find solutions to ALL of their BILLIONS of problems and issues! There is no reason that you can't be a willing recipient from helping them to solve their problems within the field of your expertise!

This is what must be done, you have to begin by creating a visible presence online which will result in more opportunities which yields more leads, prospects, sales, speaking endeavors, and maybe some media inquiries about your service, product, or service solution!

First and foremost...BLOG LIKE YOU'VE LOST YOUR MIND!
This is strategic manipulation at it's best! You have to start at the starting point to strategically get your message to the world! If you don't have a blog...GET ONE set up TODAY! They are a free resource on almost ANY and ALL websites and social media sites to which you already belong!

You want to use your blog as a “home base” so to speak! It establishes your presence and credibility online because people get to act with you and become intimate and deep with your personality and you with your prospects and customers! It saves money AND it allows people access to your products directly! FREE ADVERTISEMENT!

If you have never had the opportunity to express who you are and your expertise, a blog helps you to demonstrate that expertise, expose your personality so that those who want to work with you and buy from you and collaborate with you the chance to get to know you, and this establishes trust because you are sharing for free VALUABLE USEFUL CONTENT that gives more meaning and success within their business, professional, and private lives!

A blog is honestly like crack for search engines! Yea bad analogy but understand what I'm saying! When you post frequently, consistently, and constantly, the search engines index your page and your content is thus available in searches quicker! Search engines crave new and fresh information, the more you post the more information it can get from you! Your blog becomes its source of “highness” and it continues to feed and frenzy off of your fresh insights! YOU BECOME VISIBLE!

Target your message in your blog! Publish something directly about whatever topic you are promoting! Your book, your services, your products, whatever! Create an editorial calendar and post about that topic using your keywords for which you want to be found!

SECONDLY...USE FACEBOOK FOR WHAT IT'S REALLY SUPPOSED TO BE USED FOR!
Ok...seriously! Facebook is not about finding all your friends and chatting about highschool and college days! Ok...maybe so, but that is secondary to it's really purpose! With all the people on facebook, you should have a presence of yourself and what you're doing ON FACEBOOK! Create a facebook page for your business, service, product!

Looking at visibility, this is an essential and necessary step because your content that is posted on facebook is AUTOMATICALLY indexed by search engines! At the very least you need to put your blog on facebook using the “notes” application as this will pull your blog content to your page wall whenever you post and because it only gives a short snippet, it forces those who would like to read back to your blog! As a matter of fact, most of you reading this blog right now are here because saw it on facebook or it was indexed from facebook into a search engine!

To even boost this...create a fan page! This further helps you build relationship and build desire from your fans to click through to your content from what is being presented on your page directly about your services, information, and products!

Finally, get over the “am I bothering people” syndrome! Invite people to your page and request that they become your fan! Request that they click on that “like” button! Use that as a resource to ask and answer questions, send update and let people know what promotions are coming up, what releases you have planned, and make sure you use relevant keywords and phrases about your business! Make this an active part of what you do because every post and every action that ANY member takes on your page is then posted on the pages of EVERY member in your group and guess what...A LINK BACK TO YOUR PAGE which will lead them once again back to your blog!

LASTLY...TWEET TWEET!
Yea people use it for the purpose of telling the mundane tasks of everyday life, however twitter can be used to serve announcements from your blog and even from facebook! It is your opportunity to simply go and respond and share great resources with people who are looking up things for your keyword search! Look up your keywords on twitter and anything related to that, post something with a back link to your facebook or to your blog!

Once again, these links got posted on search engines automatically and lead as a back entrance to your own endeavors!

And don't be afraid to use the plugins that come with blogs as well that post automatically!

With these tactics, people should start to “see” you online and as they begin to see you and you continuously do these things, people will start saying “wow, I see him/her everywhere, I may want to see what they are talking about!” With that, you have garnered the attention of one other person, keep doing what you're doing and you could end up with millions following you!

Dr. Tanya A. Alkhaliq - Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Change Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

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The Death of Sex

Maybe it was just me, or maybe I'm just hearing things that other people don't want to hear!

UNMARRIED FOLK WHO ARE SAVED AND SANCTIFIED FILLED WITH THE HOLYGHOST WITH A MIGHTY BURNING FIRE, EVIDENCE OF SPEAKING IN TONGUES...ARE HAVING SEX!

I just want people to understand that and to get passed it! As a conservative Hebrew Pentecostal Rabbi, it is best that we deal with the facts and STOP trying to live in this fictional world that the RELIGIOUS “WRONG” has made up in their minds because they are themselves like the Pharasaic sect who diveds, the “Christian Crusaders” who kills, and the religiously pious who keeps the doors of the Kingdom shut except for the few who will follow them as they follow in the footsteps of their father...ARROGANCE AND PRIDE!

Ok...now I've gotten that out the way (but I'm far from finished)...we go to the story about The Southland Christian School in St. Cloud, Florida! So they fired an elementary school teacher, Jarretta Hamilton, for having had sex before she was married. Under this schools strict morality rules, no person is allowed to engage in “fornication” which in today's minds eye means “sex before you're married,” although, if you will take a look at what fornication is, EVEN THE MARRIED CAN DO IT WITH THEIR OWN SPOUSE...that's neither here nor there at this point though (SEE FORNICATION WHAT IS IT FROM MY RELIGIOUS BLOG - HERE)

This is amazing to me that even at this time that someone who is a responsible adult who didn't lie but told the truth and got punished for having sexual intercourse before she was married to the man that she had planned to openly confess her love and devotion towards! Her mistake seemingly wasn't that she had sex outside of marriage, it was telling them that she conceived 3 weeks before she got married!

At this point, I question the “celibacy until marriage” policy that many churches, ministries, institutions, and ministerial leaders have established as the “line of Holiness.” In my own practice when I do marriage counseling, one of my first questions is have you had sex and was it fulfilling to the both of you? Why do I ask this, well I know that marriage is something that I want, desire, and hope that people will remain steadfast within its confines for years! The fire below is one of the ways to keep that yearning and want for your partner intact! Mind you...that is BEFORE they get married and make a PUBLIC AFFIRMATION OF THEIR PRIVATE DEVOTION!

More than 90% of couples in this day and time (and even years ago) have sex before they get married! Sex is not something that most people within the confines of the religious community like to discuss but abstinence is NOT the norm just so that you know and understand, especially amongst those about to wed! One of the reasons why the “honeymoon” is such a big issue is because most premarital counselors (religious or not) ask that they who are getting married abstain from sexual contact for one month before marriage! It has nothing to do with “we've been waiting for these last 5 years of being together,” it has to do with “whew, we went from almost everyday to not being able to do 'it' for an entire month, this is going to be a powerful release of emotion, frustration, and Love!”

So did Mrs. Hamilton act in an immoral or unethical way by having sex with her fiance? I personally must say...NO SHE DIDN'T! Why do I say this, I say this on the basis that marriage is NOT the beginning of a relationship, public affirmation is the ending of one's private relationship! The marriage relationship doesn't begin at the public confession, IT ENDS THERE! Why do I say that? I say that based on the fact that if one is publicly affirming their love and devotion to the other person, I would hope that they have already been married to one another as they have sought after the Most High with one another in their private time! Marriage to me by description is allowing others into your private lives and personal devotion to one another! If you haven't been privately devoting, what is the point of public affirmation?

Sexual compatibility IS one of the most important aspects of marriage and as such, I personally REFUSE to perform a ceremony for an extremely religious couple who refuses to engage in some form of sexual exploration of one another! Not because I want them to die and go to hell for pre-marital sex but because I want them to know that they are “for” one another! If a man marries a woman and he can't “rise to the occasion,” honestly the woman may feel in some type of way because she isn't “sexy” enough to her husband to even get him to get hard for her! Likewise, what if a woman doesn't climax for her husband, how is he supposed to feel that he can't please his wife? Once you have made a public confession of fidelity and been affirmed in your love...IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP THAT UP BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY because not only are you accountable to G-d but you are accountable to EVERY PERSON who WITNESSED your love and devotion to your spouse!

I also know it's not popular to “co-habitate” before marriage, however, if you don't live in the same household with someone before marriage how are you to know what it's like to live with that person? We have to come out of these puritanical standards of living if we are to really do what we need to do...OR we need to REALLY be puritanical! That means NO DIVORCE and we need to take care of our daughters AND SONS until they find (or are given) a mate!

Ethical sexuality is not defined on whether or not someone is having sex before a public affirmation, it is predicated by love, commitment, and pleasure which should always be placed in the confines of CONSENT!

If the only reason that Mrs. Hamilton was released because of her sexual choices, I believe that the MORAL response is to re-instate her to her rightful position! Now if she was a neglectful educator and did not do as she was instructed to teach children properly then I do stand by their decision for termination! A simple “failure to follow our moral ethics” is not reason enough to fire someone and no I do not think it should be within the confines of anyone's job description!

Dr. Tanya A. Alkhaliq - Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Change Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

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Can a Marriage be Saved by Sexual Aids?

For many the word “marriage” is a word that one dare not bring up to someone they are dating! Sure for most women, they get involved with a guy in a long term relationship with the ideal of one day they will be married! Yet for other women, they just want to get their rocks off! The idea that most men go into a relationship actually wanting to get married is at the least absurd (unless of course they've done all the craziness they are planning on doing)! Regardless to which category one finds themselves, for some reason some people seem to think that marriage equates the DEATH OF THE SEX LIFE! This doesn't have to be the case!

It's amazing to me of how many couples who have come into marriage counseling with me who have this one issue and it spins around the issue of sex and sexuality within their marriage relationship! One of the most prevailing questions that I have come across concerning this topic is “Can sex toys save a marriage?” The answer to that question is “NO” in most peoples minds, however, are most people really getting the right “medication” when it comes to marriage and the sexual covenant one makes with their spouse?

Marriage is a covenant that can be summed up in the union of love, friendship, and definitely intimacy with an emphasis on a healthy sex life, however, often times it is the lack of the healthy sex life that contributes to many marriages being broken and fragmented. So what is the issue?

The issue is that society has labeled things as taboo and that leads to an inability to communicate with one's spouse concerning sexual needs and desires, especially within the lives of those who are extremely religious and sees sex as a means to an end and not as a living entity that transcends beyond two people but instead enlivens and invigorates two persons into one being! It is this loss of communication skills and the silly notion that “things will get better” which you can honestly say is a marriage doomed for separation.

Adding to our inability to express ourselves, we often lead a lifestyle that equates busy-ness with success. In that sex gets put on a list to do instead of being on the list to become and everything else (longer working hours, shopping, house work, etc...) gets in the place and in the way of a healthy sex life. WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR SEXUAL RELATIONS but honestly speaking from experience, being too tired or having a headache or being too busy is NO reason to replace the coming together of individuals to experience the greatness of their counterpart!

Sex should not be a chore, neither should sex be had only a few times a month, try a few times a week, if your life is really that busy, schedule a few quickies and some real intimate time with your significant other EVERY week! There is nothing greater than fantasizing about your partner and you should anticipate adventure and feel frisky and giddy when you get around your partner! If you aren't experiencing these things, you are SUFFERING!

THERE IS A SOLUTION...well a few!

1) OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND STAT CONVERSING! Understand that fundamentals are key and communication is a fundamental aspect of relationship and is paramount to keeping that relationship healthy and functional. If you think sex is boring and dull and a bore, how do you know that your partner isn't feeling the same way? How do you know if they aren't just settling yourself? How do you know if they are enjoying it or not! If only one half of the people in your relationship knows that there is an issue, guess how quickly your issue will be solved! It won't! It is a proven fact, couples who have open lines of communication and have team sharing activities will have a much more valuable and functional relationship both sexually and non-sexually!

2) MAKE TIME! If you have to plan for a trip away for a weekend every other month just to escape children, friends, family, life...DO IT! When you have this option and opportunity, you should have the same type of sex that you had on your honeymoon! Raw, passionate, deep, and intense! Making time to cultivate your relationship with your spouse is so important! It gives you time off work so you are stressed less and being away in a “strange” place many times helps people to drop their inhibition and rekindle the flickering flame of lust and passion!

3) TRY SOMETHING NEW! You're away from home, try something new that you've never done! Use some satin sheets, change the light bulb to a black light and rub edible neon paint all over one another! All these things can make an impact on how you and your partner views sex! There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with using candy or lingerie to both entice and please your significant other!

4) GET SOME TOYS AND MOVIES! My favorite! Most people (especially religious people) have a huge issue with sex toys because it's just “UNNATURAL.” Let's get real serious for a moment, I could care less how “unnatural” something is, if it gets my husbands mojo going, I'm all for it! Sex toys (and even purchasing sex toys) doesn't have to be a scary experience. There are so many places online that you can find these toys without ever having to leave your home or anyone seeing what you got and where and where you got it from! Also, let's not forget about movies! Your significant other may like to watch movies, watch them with them, as a matter of fact, try to make a game and experience the movie as it is happening and somewhere in the middle just get lost in one another!

Understand that sex toys are simply aids to add some spice to your sex life. These are chosen so that they will help to increase the intimacy level between you and your partner! This is really amplified in the foreplay, so focus on foreplay and get to know your partner all over again from head to toe! There is nothing wrong with a blindfold or a whip for the beginner! You'll know when it's right to go to something more extreme and daring if your relationship calls for something further!

Make sure you choose things that are comfortable for both partners and keeping in mind the desired effect is not to concentrate on the aids but to become more comfortable with your partner as well as to focus on the pleasure of your partner. The toy should not be the focal point...your partner should be!

So yes...you were right, sex toys won't save your marriage, however, they sure can add that spark needed in order for your marriage to rekindle that flame and that may just be what the doctor isn't telling you!

Dr. Tanya A. Alkhaliq - Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert
Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Change Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

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Online Dating in the Black Community...

Ok, yea it's me again with another tirade of what's on my mind! I suppose because I'm single and although happy in my singleness not necessarily content being single! In the midst of it all, I refuse to not be joyful! Wow, I actually lost my train of thought for a moment...I'm definitely going to have to work on me and this single thing!

Today I would like to discuss the methodology of dating and I'm wondering if we as African-American's have embraced recent technological advances concerning dating! Don't misunderstand what I'm saying! I know that we use technology to find a “hook up” partner and someone with whom to “screw” on a regular but I'm talking about using the same medium in order to find...”THE ONE!”

Now, if we really seek after what is true we will understand that communities that are culturally rich (like ours) usually are more reliant on conventional methods when it comes down to meeting and finding a long-term RELATIONSHIP! So basically what this boils down to is unless we're moving to another city, it is very difficult to meet other singles who are new to the black dating scene so to speak! With that being said though, why is it that we can't open ourselves to the possible opportunity to use online prospectus in order to improve our successes of establishing long-term planned monogamous committed relationships?

Now, if you're in your late 40's or 50's plus, I definitely wouldn't have any issues with you all not accepting dealing with the internet dating, my mom really just learned how to use the computer for more than paying bills and checking email! However, the rest of us who have fought against this concept of turning to technological advances to help within our efforts we put towards dating! We need not regret what is going on in these advances but we really should take a closer look and see it as a change for the better!

FACT: Choosing someone who is compatible is troublesome and we are going to make MANY mistakes along the way! So what is the problem with using the online communities! Based on that very fact, many dating sites have an analysis that one must feel out to help us wad through some of the it'll get rid of all the screw balls but, you have a much better chance through there than we would have meeting them at the ummm CLUB?! Honestly speaking meeting someone online is not always less complicated than meeting someone in life but as with all things both have positives and negatives!

Of course now we deal with the fact that almost all people who have turned to and rely on online technology can be somewhat secure that those people that they meet are in the same situation and are probably using this medium because they themselves face the same issues that you do. I'm sorry but for me, that point alone gives us both a commonality with which to grow into something more stable and serious! We're obviously both tired and we are wanting something more than what we've been getting so the last resort, we have both come to using technology as a final frontier!

Now...the other rules of dating in the black community still apply, don't get that twisted! You need to find someone who is really searching for a solid match, make sure you get to know one another before deciding to spend the night, make sure you have OTHER things in common besides being online as a last resort and sexual fit, and BE CAREFUL WHEN BEGINNING A NEW RELATIONSHIP!

Of course the black dating community is the same as dating any other however you get to retain your rich cultural identity to help you lay a solid foundation for you developing love!

SO GET OUT THERE, SIGN UP, AND GET TO DATING!

Dr. Tanya A. Alkhaliq - Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Change Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

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Hook-Ups: Where do you Lay?

I know this is probably going to sound crazy but since today is sexuality day, I figured, I speak about hooking up with someone you meet “out and about.” You know the old story, we meet at the party (or elsewhere), he’s physically and intellectually just what you need (you know this because you’ve conversed with him LOL), and he’s looking at you like you are the only person he wants to “screw” for the evening (wow the preacha said screw)!

Of course that’s not what happens…but wasn’t it a great thought until he asks you a few days later as to why you didn’t “hook up” and fornicate until you were both too tired to move! This is where it gets interesting to most…most people will say either “I don’t know” or that good old song…

“I DON’T HOOK UP!”

I honestly don’t think that people are attempting to be so holy but the question of “hooking up for a one-night stand” is just not appealing to many people anymore!

HAVE WE GONE…MILD - and deciding to give up our wild ways for a more stable “non-relationship” or maybe a MARRIAGE (oh heck no)?!?!?!?!

If we take an objective point, we can honestly say that much of our appetite for marriage and that “happily ever after” is simply a response to our dissatisfaction with our every weekend random hook up with somebody who we may or may not know! Adding to that, the shameful feeling involved with what happened last night. I honestly don’t believe that we feel ashamed of what we did but moreso the shame of how dissatisfied we feel in the morning when we have to go back to our “regular” lives!

There’s a song…
It's morning, And we slept the night away, It happened, Now we can't turn back the hands of time, Yes we've stolen this moment…A new day, Brings reality and we both go our separate ways

At one point, the hookup empowered people to examine desires and take action to fulfill those desires without the strings of attachments, no last names, and a “in the moment” sexual encounter that makes a powerful social statement about who we are and that we are free to do as we please!

I honestly feel that the purpose of the hook-up has been lost on us and we’re trying to turn what’s supposed to be a “quick screw and bounce” into the beginning of a relationship! These type of mechanics were never meant to infuse LIFE and a connection…that’s why it’s a HOOK UP!

It really doesn’t matter whether you believe in marriage or monogamy understand that CONNECTION is essential to humanity. We require the presence of other people just for our well being, and not just any individuals, we have to have some stable fixtures in our lives! Those bonds we have to people help to regulate us psychologically and emotionally!

So the problem is we are experiencing the crisis as a direct of using a SOULLESS and HEARTLESS hookup to satisfy a need that emanates from the soul: the need for connection. We try to escape our loneliness and replace it with sex and to build up into something that has NO foundation.

So what is the point…know that there is a reason for all things and on a spectrum between “hook-up” and “serious committed relationship” there are many phases that we can use to shape and satisfy our needs for love and connection.

(I AM IN NO WAY ENDORSING NEITHER TELLING ANYONE THAT HOOK-UPS ARE RIGHT OR WRONG, I AM SIMPLY MAKING A STATEMENT ABOUT HOOK-UPS AND DO NOT WISH TO BE INUNDATED WITH EMAILS SAYING THAT I’M NO TYPE OF PREACHER TELLING PEOPLE TO HOOK-UP, THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. THIS IS ABOUT STATING A TRUTH AND GIVING RISE TO WHAT SOCIETY IS DOING REGARDLESS TO HOW A PREACHER FEELS)!

Dr. Tanya A. Alkhaliq - Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Change Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

PLEASE CONSIDER ADDING DR. "T" WITHIN SOME OF YOUR SOCIAL NETWORKS

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Be Still and Know - Silence the Mind

FOCUS FOR TODAY
Be Still and Know - Your mind keeps disrupting with its mental noise and quenches the Spirit and what G-d is doing in you because you keep listening to its negative hurdle filled analysis of what is going on around you! It's not about the circumstance but the one who controls them!

LEARN TO SILENCE YOUR MIND – We all go through life trying to find our way and we often say there is too much “noise” but that noise emanates from your own mind! This is further established when you decide to “talk it out” for the purpose of comfort and to talk yourself through the issue, the problem with that is that we are talking to and comforting our troubles making it easier for our troubles but causing more stress to assert itself into our life!

Understand that the FOCUS FOR TODAY is “Be Still and Know” and as a part of being still we me learn to be quiet while curling up in the stillness of life! Silencing the mind is best achieved by being in a place that is naturally in a state of silence. Usually the best time is early in the morning or just before going to bed, however, if you begin to practice the artform of silence, you'll come into the reality that ALL times and ALL places are suitable for silence!

Find a place where you can sit straight up and have back support while your hands are resting on the top of your thigh or any other position that there will be no tension for the duration of your “silence” time. In addition, you should not cross your legs but to be in a relaxed state as well as this disrupts circulation and the discomfort will be a distraction to your purpose.This is the time that you shouldn't be looking to figure out things but instead it should be a time of quiet silent NON-REFLECTION and total surrender to the divine in you! This should be done 15 to 30 minutes everyday (at minimum) just to sit quiet! In this, you do the very best you can and when the mind creates opportunities for “REFLECTION” see that it is trying to disrupt your quiet time and notice the building blocks of this mental noise, then disassemble this noise by the same blocks in which they are built to settle within a level of quiet surrender!

REMEMBER: There are no laws that govern inner silence so it's not something that is taught, it's just something that you do and it becomes a part of who you are as you experience it's presence.

Once you are situated, close your eyes and let the awareness of life fill your entire being! At this point you want to re-adjust yourself so that no part of your body is seeking after attention!

Now, as your eyes are closed and your body is at complete ease, allow your shoulders to take on the full weight of your head (in other words take all the pressure off your neck muscles and allow your shoulders to simply be relaxed while supporting your head). This is something that you can actually feel happen!

Next, the weight of your shoulders should be transferred to the lower parts of your body. If you are doing this properly you will be very surprised about how much extra bodily weight you unnecessarily support without even knowing that you are doing so! As you continue this process, all of your collective weight should be transferred to the chair you're sitting on!

CONSCIOUSLY TRANSFER THIS WEIGHT – LET IT GO!

Now you can release yourself from all of the unconscious physical stress and tension that you have been carrying around in your life! You should feel a sense of “floating” or “airiness” about your body at this point!

To continue, you must expand this relaxed stated state and increased bodily awareness of the “self” to include your thoughts and emotions! You must induct your mind and emotions into this self-obsorbed state of being and begin to “watch yourself from within.” It is you who must now become objective and impartial to your own thoughts and feelings. Let them do what they do without the slightest concern of their influences. Don't resist their pull, however, do not be drawn into them.

NOTE: If you are just beginning, you may undergo an “emotional breakdown” the first few times as you are not used to really seeing and feeling your emotions without having to interpret. The purpose of this is to get you to the point of non-interpretation and quiet beingness! This could be a very traumatic experience as they really begin to see how they see themselves.

Your goal is detached self-observation and remember that each time a feeling or emotion comes to you, you must realize that you're no longer watching but rather you have become captivated by that feeling or thought and you are allowing yourself to be carried along with it. You must withdraw from it and return to the PRESENT MOMENT of quiet solitude.

In this practice you begin to KNOW what it means to BE STILL! You must experience it for yourself over and over again let go, give up distractions, go deeper within you, watch, bring the awareness of yourself back to the present moment paying no attention to your thoughts and feelings are trying to tell you while you are BEING STILL AND KNOWING!

As you persist and prevail, the struggle to stay aware of yourself in the present moment will make the moment itself change but remember as that moment changes....SO DO YOU!

Should you continue to practice, eventually you will be able to go beyond those prostestations of the mind and your sense of self and your awareness of the present moment will melt away and with the melting away a new deeper sense of silence floods your soul and fills your awareness with itself and then the awareness that the source of this supreme stillness is arising out of your own BEINGNESS.

All things are now washed away and you have arrived at a quiet mind! It is now you can “MEDITATE” on those words both day and night and they will NOT depart but will become an everlasting stream of life flowing from you to empower everyone at all times!

Dr. Tanya A. Alkhaliq - Author | Speaker | Minister | Life Redesign Expert

Tanya Alkhaliq is an intersex black woman who is a Life Change Expert with an emphasis in intersex issues and counseling while specializing in self-identity development, relationship issues, gender and sexual understandings, spiritual reformations, career choices, young-adult developmental issues, and issues pertaining to fear.

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Daily Encouragement: Hope doesn't require a massive chain where heavy links of logic hold it together. A thin wire will do, just strong enough to get us through the night until the winds die down!